A Good Christian Funeral

 

A Guide for Gospel-Centered Services

Dr. Robert A. Myers

The Need for Guidance

Ever since the middle of the twentieth century, we have been enamored with youth.  It’s easy to see.  Our fixation on being young is manifested in our entertainment, our music, our advertisements, the prevalence of cosmetic surgery, and ageism in the workplace.  One author has even coined the term “juvenilization” to describe our cultural milieu.  It is no surprise, then, that most people are averse to talking about death and dying until the topic is forced upon them.  When the subject becomes unavoidable, many people are at a loss as to what to do at the time of death.  Increasingly, many people are opting to forego any sort of funeral service.  Others chose to do some sort of event at a neutral site to avoid the solemnity of a church or funeral home.  The difficult questions that death evokes are purposely avoided.

People of faith don’t need to live their lives with that kind of denial.  The wisdom of Solomon offers this perspective: “Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties.  After all, everyone dies—so the living should take this to heart…A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time” (Ecclesiastes 7:2 & 4).   Those who have entrusted their lives to Christ, have nothing to fear in death.  After all, we have “died to this life, and [our] real life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col. 3:3).  The end of our mortal lives here on earth offers Christians the opportunity to proclaim the gospel and revel in the promise of eternal life.  What follows, then, is some guidance offered to families, pastors and priests, and funeral directors to craft services that will meet those ends and provide comfort to those who grieve in hope. 

What Story is Being Told?

When planning a funeral service, one of the questions to be addressed is “What story is being told?”  This is the critical question.  Our first impulse is to focus the content of the service on the deceased.  And while our loved one’s story should certainly be told, it should not be the preeminent narrative.  For the person who has lived a devout Christian life, their life has been enfolded into the gospel story – indeed, they embodied it while they were alive. 

A Christian funeral should be a worship service where Christ is the center and the gospel is told through powerful symbolism.  A church venue with its built-in symbolism of crosses, stained glass narratives, and other elements would be preferred.  If the service is held in a funeral home, the family should request that a cross be provided.  Most importantly, if at all feasible, having the body present at the funeral is a powerful symbol of Christ’s victory over death.  I have often delivered Scripture’s victory proclamation over caskets during a funeral: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” (I Cor. 15:54b – 55).  There is no missing the point of the Good News of eternal life that a believer has in Christ. It is this setting of a gospel declaration in faith that will provide the best foundation of hope for those who grieve the loss of their loved one. 

The Elements of a Good Christian Funeral

In his helpful book, Accompany Them with Singing: The Christian Funeral, author Thomas G. Long suggests that four elements should be present in every funeral.  The first is a holy person.  No one is perfect, but if the deceased was a faithful Christian, they are a saint because they have been declared righteous in Christ.  Tell their story in eulogy, anecdotes, video, or any other creative medium that is appropriate.  But be sure to focus on their faith as central to their life.  Second, there should be a holy place.  Talk about heaven.  Incorporate Revelation 21 and 22.  Beware of sentimental songs whose substance is primarily the feeling one gets when they are sung.  Instead, choose from the ample repertoire of hymns and even contemporary songs (I Can Only Imagine comes to mind) that would be appropriate.  Third, there should also be a holy people.  Hebrews 12:1 tells us that we are surrounded by “a great cloud of witnesses” encouraging us from the heavenly realm in our faith.  The deceased is not alone.  They have joined the great heavenly chorus.  Songs like For All the Saints and We’re Marching to Zion are appropriate.  Finally, there must be a holy script.  Lay out the gospel narrative, not just the deceased’s story.  Otherwise, death wins again.   Clearly proclaim the resurrection.  Simply reading John 11: 17-27 and I Corinthians 15 would provide a strong biblical foundation for this essential Christian truth. 

Some Practical Pointers

With these principles in mind, here are some practical ideas:

·       It is preferable to have a Christian funeral in a place of worship.

·       Your pastor or priest is your “first call” for spiritual guidance and planning.

·       If feasible, have the body present.  If the body is to be cremated, a casket can be rented for this purpose.  The symbolism is profound.  You can’t miss the point of defying death through the gospel.. 

·       Historic Christian traditions often provide funeral liturgies that meet the principles described here.  Even though I am a Baptist, I have found the Book of Common Prayer to be very helpful.

·       Give space for personal remembrance but don’t have it dominate.  Remember, tell the gospel story.  Christ should be preeminent in the Christian funeral.  

·       It is a corporate event.  Have the people sing and recite.  You might even consider Communion – as it represents our participation with Christ in his death, resurrection, and ascension.

·       Not all wishes of the deceased have to be fulfilled.  The service is primarily for those who remain.   

When I took on the role of a pastor and began to do funerals regularly, I was advised by a wise mentor that each service should provide space for grief and a clear proclamation of the resurrection.  I have followed that advice and have found that both authentic lament of loss and affirmation of the hope we have in the resurrection have deeply enriched those who have attended the service.  It has strengthened hope and faith for their life’s journey until they are reunited with their loved one.  It is my desire that what I have offered here will be of help to you as well.