Marriage as a Sacrament

I don’t know about your FaceBook feed, but mine has been filled with wedding anniversary announcements virtually every day of this month.  It is June, after all, and that’s when a lot of folks tie the knot with winter in the rear-view mirror and the joys of summer living just ahead.  I’ve seen ten-year, fifteen-year, up to fifty-five-year celebrations.  And we should celebrate.  A good marriage takes a good deal of work.

Roman Catholics call marriage a “sacrament.”  I’m a Baptist and we’re not supposed to be sacramental.  But general Baptist distinctives can sometimes be difficult to define because freedom of individual conscience is one of our deepest held values.  I’m with the Catholics on this one.  Of course, as a Protestant, I probably define sacrament a bit different than my Catholic brethren.  No need to quibble.  Along with the Catholics, I see God actively working smack dab in the middle of Christian marriage.  

In general terms, I define a sacrament as a “physical means of God’s grace.”  In the context of marriage, I have to say, “Indeed, it is!”  There is probably no other factor that has had more transformational impact in my life than my marriage to my wife, Diane.  That is not to belittle my own private devotions and corporate church life.  But my devotional life has often been impacted by the issues and dynamics of my marital life.  As for church life, Diane has been my longsuffering partner in ministry for nearly four decades.  And through it all and in it all, Christ has always been at the center. 

Oh, there’ve been some tough times.  The “D-word” has crossed both our minds at times, but it has quickly passed because we are both first committed to Christ and obedience to him even before our commitment to each other.  There’ve been good times, too.  Gratefully, they outnumber the tough times.  But through it all, we have both changed dramatically for the better.  You can’t hide in a marriage.  When I’m a jerk, she knows about it.  So does God.  And neither of them lets me get away with it.  I’m grateful for that.  It’s made me a much better man.  And so it goes throughout life.  I know that I’ll continue to be transformed for the better until the day that I die. Sure, I have to choose.  The Holy Spirit gives me the power to change.  And Diane is frequently the catalyst in it all.  That’s God’s grace flowing to me through the conduit of my relationship with my wife. It’s a “physical means of God’s grace.”  A sacrament.

In the marriage rite from the Book of Common Prayer, we read these well-known words, “The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.”  Forty years ago today (June 22), Diane and I pledged ourselves to each other, “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.”  And I thank God that he has been the center of our marriage, changing us both for the better, until that day when we see him face to face.  

Happy Anniversary, my Love!